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Funny that you should mention that. I recently disabled IGMP proxy on my Actiontec Verizon FIOS router to fix Bonjour problems I was having. As for Mom's network, I replaced her old router almost 2 years ago with one that was Bonjour capable.
I had a one-time seven hour delay, then had other issues with contacts not syncing at all. I reset the iPhone, and it immediately synced all the missing contacts. I haven't had any problems since.