I'm working on a server that was configured by a former employee and I need to restart Apache. Unfortunately, it's not the default install and it's in a different place and apachectl doesn't exist and launchctl doesn't even seem to know that this apache is installed or running. I don't want to break anything and was wondering if there was a graceful way of restarting this custom Apache instance in order to update the configuration files to account for new SSL settings.
Assuming you know where Apache is installed, you should be able to gracefully restart it like this:
kill -USR1 `cat <apache_dir>/logs/httpd.pid`
(Untested, but based on the Apache docs).