Fat is definitely off the table since it only supports files up to 4GB. So you won't be able to transfer files over 4GB like you stated in your question.
exFAT won't have this limit since it's capable of supporting files up to 16 exabytes (16.000.000 terabytes). It's an excellent format for your flash drives and/or external (not internal!) hard drives.
NFTS is an alternative, but your Mac (starting from 10.3) can only read it. It won't be able to write data on the drive, unless you use some extra software and hacks,
but some users have reported some instability and performance issues using NFTS on a Mac.
Windows 7 will read and write FAT, exFAT and NFTS without any problem. (It can even ReadyBoost from an exFat flash drive). Starting from Mac OS X 10.6.5, the OS supports reading from and writing to exFAT formatted drives.
I would go for the exFAT. It's fast, supports huge datafiles and both your Windows 7 and your Mac will be able to read/write to it.