Yes, you can use a higher-rated charger with an iPhone. Energy isn't 'pushed' into the phone, the phone takes what it needs. The rating is the maximum that the charger can provide.
As for prolonging the battery life: Apple has teams of engineers working on the software that manages the battery. There are algorithms that analyse your usage, and charge the battery accordingly. The "Optimize Battery Charging" setting already delays charging above 80%, if that fits your usage.
I'd say use it as you need. Because you want to have a phone you can use as you need, not one that you have to modify your behaviour for. Chances are, the phone's battery will last for three years or so -- whatever you do -- before you either replace the battery, or get a new phone.