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Is it possible to only receive notifications in a shared calendar of events that you are invited to or that you created yourself?

I don't need alerts or notifications to an event I only want to be aware of but not going to attend (like a dinner my wife is having with her girlfriends). Likewise, my wife doesn't need to know what time she needs to leave to get to a haircut appointment I'm going to.

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No. Th only way to manage this is to use separate calendars so you can ignore invitations to those calendars that you wish to avoid. These settings are per calendar and not per invite or event.

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