I seem to remember a Lightning port being on a Macbook (probably the 12-inch ones) but cannot find mention of it anywhere. I "remember" a YouTube video (not from who though) that mentioned the lightning port, but people were irritated that it was only able to charge it, not do anything else. Am I just remembering stupid, never-true stuff, or was this real?
No. Apple laptops have USB-C and Thunderbolt ports (the 12” MacBook has a USB-C port), but Lightning ports are only found as charging and data ports on Apple’s mobile devices.