ssh into the remote macMac and kill the screensharingdscreensharingd
daemon.
$ ps ax | grep screen
1234 ?? Ss 0:00.02 /System/Library/CoreServices/RemoteManagement/screensharingd.bundle/Contents/MacOS/screensharingd
$ sudo kill 1234
It works for me. I have Mac OS X Lion on both local and remote computers.