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Ok this is fun! Work has given me a MacBook Pro that is the model before this new Retina model but many other peers are given the new model just randomly based on what they had available at that time . But I don't want this crap I want the new one too. So what can I do to damage it in a non obvious way so I they have to say oh ok let's replace your laptop ? I was thinking like never turning it off and installing the program that let's me always turn on the fans and like keeping it at nights in a humid area like refrigerator maybe ?

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closed as not a real question by Nathan Greenstein Jan 20 '13 at 3:05

It's difficult to tell what is being asked here. This question is ambiguous, vague, incomplete, overly broad, or rhetorical and cannot be reasonably answered in its current form. For help clarifying this question so that it can be reopened, visit the help center.If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

    
If you're a troll: riiight.... If you're not a troll: Beggars can't be choosers. Apart from the ethical point of this question I also think the format is not suitable this stackexchange as no definitive answer can be given. Most people try to fix their laptop instead of break it. Be happy with what is given... –  Bart Arondson Jan 20 '13 at 1:38
    
No seriously. I have the retina and iMac as my home computers. It is a huge piss off to work on a downgraded computer like ten hours a day while these new hires that have been there for two months get the retina ones. –  Jellyguyfromwork Jan 20 '13 at 1:41
    
Perhaps the IT department would hand out the best computer to someone who demonstrates they are hard on computers, but the chance your computer is already faulty and a CPU load causes any failure is so slim as to be a waste of time for all concerned. Whatever thing you come up with to accelerate the demise of your tools will likely raise flags and get you worse or no equipment rather than better equipment. –  bmike Jan 23 '13 at 14:41
    
just drop it from the roof, it's super natural buddy :) –  user53482 Jul 18 '13 at 4:34

2 Answers 2

Intentionally damaging a computer is irresponsible, and in this case, it's also dishonest. There are better ways to get what you want.

First, simply ask your manager (or the person distributing the laptops) if you could trade it in for a new one. Make your case that A) you deserve the Retina by seniority, and B) you could be more productive with a faster machine. Also, be honest about how it bugs you to go from Retina at home to low-res at work.

If that doesn't work, try to get permission to use your own laptop for work. Talk to IT and find out if it's possible, then bring it up with your manager and relay what IT told you.

In any case, you don't want to sound like a complainer when you bring this up, so try to come up with objective points to present in your favor. Faster performance, more screen detail — whatever you can come up with that's fact-based and honest.


P.S. — In the interest of actually answering your question, you should know that most people (especially the IT folks who'll inspect the company's laptop) can tell the difference between accidental and intentional damage to a computer. Also, internal damage is rarely accidental. We're talking about a MacBook Pro. They don't usually break on their own.

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I have talked to my manager. He didn't care and he is right. It isn't in his control either. I also emailed the IT dept that assign the devices and told them hey I can wait and use my own laptop until a retina one gets available and give my turn to someone else. They said we assign them based on what comes into inventory. –  Jellyguyfromwork Jan 20 '13 at 4:40

Seriously Man?? Go talk to your employers. Be open about it. You'll go further in life by speaking your mind than being a sneaky snake.

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I have talked to my manager. He didn't care and he is right. It isn't in his control either. I also emailed the IT dept that assign the devices and told them hey I can wait and use my own laptop until a retina one gets available and give my turn to someone else. They said we assign them based on what comes into their inventory first. –  Jellyguyfromwork Jan 20 '13 at 4:43

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