Ok this is fun! Work has given me a MacBook Pro that is the model before this new Retina model but many other peers are given the new model just randomly based on what they had available at that time . But I don't want this crap I want the new one too. So what can I do to damage it in a non obvious way so I they have to say oh ok let's replace your laptop ? I was thinking like never turning it off and installing the program that let's me always turn on the fans and like keeping it at nights in a humid area like refrigerator maybe ?
closed as not a real question by Nathan Greenstein♦ Jan 20 at 3:05
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Intentionally damaging a computer is irresponsible, and in this case, it's also dishonest. There are better ways to get what you want.
First, simply ask your manager (or the person distributing the laptops) if you could trade it in for a new one. Make your case that A) you deserve the Retina by seniority, and B) you could be more productive with a faster machine. Also, be honest about how it bugs you to go from Retina at home to low-res at work.
If that doesn't work, try to get permission to use your own laptop for work. Talk to IT and find out if it's possible, then bring it up with your manager and relay what IT told you.
In any case, you don't want to sound like a complainer when you bring this up, so try to come up with objective points to present in your favor. Faster performance, more screen detail — whatever you can come up with that's fact-based and honest.
P.S. — In the interest of actually answering your question, you should know that most people (especially the IT folks who'll inspect the company's laptop) can tell the difference between accidental and intentional damage to a computer. Also, internal damage is rarely accidental. We're talking about a MacBook Pro. They don't usually break on their own.
Seriously Man?? Go talk to your employers. Be open about it. You'll go further in life by speaking your mind than being a sneaky snake.