You can do this with some AppleScript. For Google Chrome it looks like:
on run argv
tell application "Google Chrome"
set URL of active tab of window 1 to item 1 of argv
activate
end tell
end run
You'd save that as a script file (.scpt) on disk and then call it with osascript from the command line. For example, if you saved that as ~/bin/chrome.scpt you'd do:
osascript ~/bin/chrome.scpt http://askdifferent.com/
to open http://askdifferent.com/ in the first Chrome window's currently active tab. If you wanted to make it a little simpler you could prefix the script with #! so it can be executed directly from your shell like so:
#!/usr/bin/env osascript
on run argv
tell application "Google Chrome"
set URL of active tab of window 1 to item 1 of argv
activate
end tell
end run
And then save that as ~/bin/chrome and chmod u+x ~/bin/chrome and call it like so:
~/bin/chrome http://askdifferent.com/